Sustainable for a Future
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Frustrations of Pushing the Rock Uphill, Unsure if it will Simple Roll Back to the Bottom…

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Much like Sisyphus, it seems like building a “business” is the act of hauling an extremely huge and oddly shaped boulder uphill.  This farm is the result of “jamie’s” extremely relentless nature. Saving money, denial of facifuls and extras…you name it. And finally, the farm exists.

To bring the farm to tier two, we’re hoping to have the land be part of a way to make a living rather than having to work in the dregs of society in NYC for five months like a slave. Working for money and working at home to advertise to unresponsive people about things that are important to keep the wheels of the farm turning. It NEEDS to make money.

It is so frustrating to find that no one is interested in anything you’re trying to do. So far i have created a cookbook to build funds, i have tea for sale to build funds, i am offering yoga retreats and yurt rentals….to no avail. It seems like in our society, either you need to start off having money or else you need to trick people into giving money to you…if you’re meek and humble…it seems no one will drop a coin in your hat.

It is unfortunate to be caught in this monetary system where money is so fundamental for being able to do almost anything. In truth, i don’t want to start a business. I just want to be left alone to plant food and farm all year and not have to worry about money. I don’t want to make money, i just want to work for myself.

Posting this may be a sign of weakness, but i think it is important for others to realize how difficult it is to “break free.” It has taken me a decade to make the first break and now i’m roped back in just so i can keep my head above water. I take every day with a grain of salt because i am happy to work hard and sacrifice to build a better future for me and hopefully for many others. Sometimes though, it catches up with you…you send out tons and tons of messages in the free time that you have between earning a living and barely get any responses and you know that if you had money you can simply pay a zombie to advertise for you.

I truly understand why people simply give up and fall into the fray. It is so much easier to walk the well maintained path and not venture off course.

I am trusting that the universe will provide me with what i need and not necessarily give me what i want. Essentially, it must be part of some karma that i am only vaguely aware of…the karma of having to be here…again…and deal with it…gracefully…

That, is a tough pill to swallow.

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